They start the show replaying the end of the Flair/Race cage match (Starrcade 83 main event). Commentators are Godon Solie and Bob Coudle so all is right in the world. The opening music is the music from that Saturday Night live sketch where Christopher Guest and a retarded Martin Short are training for the Olympics in synchronized swimming. Musicwise, this show is awesome already… :-)
1. WORLD'S JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHMAPIONSHIP: Mike Davis Vs. Danny Brown - Earl Hepner is announced as the ref and gets booed. Heh I remember when the ref would get booed like he was the top heel at the NWA house shows I used to go to. I've never seen either of these guys although Mike Davis sounds familiar. Brown takes the champ all around with headscissors then worked the arm. You know when they do that criss-cross thing and one guy falls flat on his stomach while the other guy jumps over him? Well this time Davis flopped down and Brown tripped over him, tumbling out of the ring, kewl. Brown looks like he hurt his back, Davis is a nice guy so he helps him back up and holds the ropes for him.. Wha? No swerve? Somewhere Russo is convulsing. Davis isn't nice enough not to work on the back though, or the "lower lumbar region" as Solie describes it. Brown makes the comeback but soon gets belly-to-back suplexed by Davis. 1,2… Brown gets his arm up…3….!?!?!?? Wha? Davis celebrates his win as Hephner goes to get the belt.. AND GIVES IT TO BROWN!!! Looks like Davis's own shoulders were down too during that belly-to-back suplex. WHATANUPSET!! NEW CHAMP!! Never heard of either of these guys but they looked decent enough. The match was way too short though. I wonder if they clipped it? *1/2
2. Mr. Ito Vs. Brian Adidis - "Supposedly" Japanese evil-dooer Mr. Ito is booed while Adidis is cheered "Ricky Mortons style". Mr. Ito looks like's he's from Kentucky rather than Japan. The commentators put over Brian Adidis the same way the WWF tried to do with the Rock circa 1997. The Blue Chipper Adidis uses his quickness to surprise Ito then clamps a headlock. Mr. Ito counters with his hair-pulling and illegal chops. AIRPLANE SPIN!!!!!! Adidis pins the dizzy Ito for the win! Nothing much here, with a near DUD quickness. ½*
3. FLORIDA STATE CHAMPIONSHIP: Jesse Barr Vs. Mike Graham - I believe Jesse is Art Barr's brother. I've seen Mike Graham before and he's tremendous scientific wrestler. Both guys are second-generation. Barr wins the mat war with his cheating. Every time Graham comes back, Barr does some sneaky-ass cheating move to regain the advantage, no wonder Art became such a class cheater in AAA. Graham quickly puts his figure-four finishes on after a shoudlerblock, but Barr wisely squirms to the ropes. Barr takes over. Eventually Graham whips Barr into the ropes but that dumbass Earl Hepher is there and gets taken out. Graham puts on a small package for a 20 count but Hephner can't count cause it takes him that long to stand up apparently. He should get that Life Alert bracelet from those commercials. Near-falls end in Barr retaining the title after pinning Graham with his foot on the ropes (ala Flair). Some great mat wrestling as well and awesome heel/face crowd control. Fun match, I'd like to see more stuff from these two guys. ***
Replay of The Longriders (Ron Bass & Black Bart), Tully Blanchard and J. J. Dillion kicking Ricky Steamboat's ass while his partner Dick Slater is tied in the ropes.
4. TAG TEAM ELIMINATION MATCH: Buzz Tyler & Assassin #1 Vs. The Zambuie Express (w/ manager Paul Jones) - HAHA WTF? The Zambuie Express? I'm guessing there supposed to be from Africa, but I swear the announcer says The Zambonie Express. They should both dress up like the Goon then. The Zambonie Express are managed by Paul Jones. The music is Footloose! Footloose! Kick off your Sunday Shoes, Kawada and Fuyuki!. When one guys loses a fall he has to leave and his partner battles 2 Vs. 1. Buzz Tyler must've been taught by the Boogie Woogie Man on how to fire up the crowd. The faces quickly clean house, popping the crowd. The Zambonie Express are pretty big guys. Ref can't seem to control it. Assassin #1 wins the match when him and a Zambonie guy hit head to head, then Tyler pushes a semi-conscious Assassin on top for the win. An INSANELY short match. ½*
Wait…. What about the tag team elimination stipulation???? Tyler and Zambonie #2 were outside, maybe they got counted out, I dunno. In the back a youngster Tony Shiv-on-knee interviews Dusty Rhodes. Rhodes spits out a kick-as promo comparing Flair's high-profile life and that of a plumbers.
5. BRASS KNUCKLES CHAMPIONSHIP: Black Bart (W/ manager J. J. Dillion) Vs. Manny Fernandez - "I love the 80's" continues with Manny Fernandez coming out to Michael Jackson's "Beat It". If you look the old ref in the corner is bopping his head back and forth to the music. Both guys hands are taped, I guess that's Brass Knuckles rules. Also sounds like it's a No-DQ match according to Solie. Jezz looking at The Raging Bull's fo' head, I can guess he's bladed once or twice in his life. Fernandez is looking like Steamboat with all these chops of his. Like clockwork Fernandez is busted open after a few Black Bart punches. Bart works and opens the wound. Fernandez comes back with fists of fury and now Bart's wearing the crimson mask. J.J Dillon throws in the bullrope to Bart, but alas his plan backfires when Fernandez quickly rolls him up and gets the pin! Nothing but punches and a few chops, but both guy sold it as a knock-down-drag-it-out fight pretty well. *1/2
In the back Steamboat is interviewed. He talks about his broken ribs due to the heinous attack by the Longriders and Tully Blanchard. Steamboat say he can't stand up well due to his back and his left side is especially in pain. Steamboat you dumbass, don't you know Blanchard's in the back taking notes? Tony Shivonknee then interviews Blanchard and Dillion. The heels say Steamboat just crying for sympathy and making excuses cause he knows he can't beat Tully.
6. LOSER LEAVES TOWN MATCH TUXEDO STREET FIGHT: Paul Jones (w/ one of the Zambonie Guys) Vs. The Boogy-Woogie Man Jimmy Valient (w/ Assassin #1) - The trailor park trash girls goes apeshit crazy over Valient, even though he looks like some homeless guy. Jones immediately goes on the offense by begging for mercy and running around the ring away from Valient. Suddenly Valient wraps a rope around Paul Jones and uses it to tie Jones to the ropes! Valient takes off the flower from Joe's tux and rams it in his mouth. Jones is tied and Valient begins to rip off the clothes. What a hero. I bet some midcarders have flashbacks to JBL in the showers watching all this. Finally the Zambonie guy distracts Valient, Jones gets free and knees him down. Joes tries knees and punches but they don't do shit against a coked-up Valient!! Valient puts on the sleeper! Whoa, looks like Jones bladed, a good one too! Valient releases the hold to punch the Zambonie guy, but hits the ref too! The ref is KO'ed! Both Assassin #1 and Zambonie guy go at it in the ring. Out of nowhere J.J. Dillion runs out and knocks out Valient! Jones covers just as the ref wakes up. 1,2,3. Paul Jones wins!! The Boogy Woogy man must leave town! *
In the back Tony interviews da champ. Flair says whether the fans like him or not, the fact is he's the champion and the best there is and Dusty better be prepared tonight.
7. MID-ATLANTIC CHAMPIONSHIP: "Cowboy" Ron Bass (w/ manager J.J. Dillion) Vs. Dick Slater - This should be a good one. Slater's all fired up for revenge while Bass is calm and cool. Slater drops Bass with a shoulderblocks then quickly sprints out of the ring and chases poor J.J! Slater re-enters than bails again and calls out Bass to fight on the outside. Slater has the advantage early but the ref stops him from doing a knee drop? And Bass takes over. Man every time Slater manages some offense he immediately goes after Dillion, sealing his doom. Finally Slater comes back with big punches in the corner. The ref tries to stop him so Slater pushes him down! The ref is out! Dillion runs in and gives some sissy stomps to Slater. BIG MISTAKE! Bodyslam! Punches to Dillon! Slater gives Bass a legdrop and goes for the cover. But instead of counting the ref pulls him off and raises Bass's hand! Slater's DQ'ed for pushing down the ref. Bass retains. Slater is pissed so he beats up Bass and Dillion, who both flee. Good match but should've went longer. **
Hmmm. They play the national anthem. That's weird in the middle of the show, I wonder why…. AHA!:
8. Ivan & Nikita Koloff Vs. Ole Anderson & Keith Larson - Anderson/Larson come out to "Come to American". The Russian comes out to the Russian national Anthem. Don Kernodle (Keith Larson's brother) is at ringside all fucked-up looking with cruthces and bandages via an Ivan Koloff attack. Umm yeah that's a REAL smart decision appear at ringside right from the hospital. This is NIKITA KOLOFF. Are you FUCKING INSANE? Kernodle was injured by his ex tag team partner Ivan. Before the bell Larson/Anderson attack the Russian cause that how we do things here in the States, comrade. The pimp of all referee's Tommy Young is doing this match. Quick tags and the good guys concentrate on Ivan's arm. Ivan's arm is being takes to the woodshed Anderson's-style. Funny spot as 300lb Nikita Koloff keeps trying to quietly sneak into the ring but the crowd keeps ratting him out to the ref. Finally after 20 minutes or so Ivan gets the tag and big Nikita starts destroying Ole. Shoudlerblocks in the corner and then a bearhug to weaken the back. After a monster beating Ole gets the hot tag and Larson cleans house! DOUBLE NOGGIN-KNOCKER!!! Larson fucks up though and misses a dropkick. All 4 guys are battling in the ring. Outside Don Kernodle eats a RUSSIAN SICKLE! Someone wheel out the gurny! Meanwhile in the ring Ivan wraps a chain around his hand and knocks out Kieth Larson! Ivan covers and gets the win! Good stuff. **1/2
Afterwards the Russian try to take Larson out of the sport but big brother Kernodle gets into the ring and kicks their asses with the crutch!
9. NWA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Tully Blanchard (w/ manager J.J. Dillion) Vs. Ricky Steamboat - Also both guys put up $10,000 dollars each. If one of them runs and gets Counted Out (aka Tully) then they lose the money. These guys are two of my all time favorites and I think a case can be made for Steamboat being the greatest face and Blanchard the greatest heel. This was also my MOTY for 1984 for a long long time until I got to see Kerry Von Erich Vs. Jumbo Tsuruta and Sgt. Slaughter Vs. Shieky years later. This is also a no-DQ match. Pier-Six brawl to begin! Blanchard tries to attack the ribs early but Steamboat is too fired up! He feels no pain!! He brings it right back with chops left and right and clamps on a rear-naked choke. Steamboat with a knee that drops Blanchard. He's pausing… Uh-oh. I think the ribs are bothering him. Steamboat's stopped his high-speed offense and is circling gingerly around while Blanchard has time to get back up. Blanchard gets a shot in the ribs and it's all over now. The Blanchard's going to town on the ribs with a mix of his technical prowness and utter bastardness cheating.. THE BLANCHARD PRANCE! I gotta make a gif of that one day. Steamboat manages to keep Blanchard at bay a few times but he's fucked up. Steamboat manages some chops and puts on a headlock. Blanchard makes the ropes and in a neat spot knees Steamboat in the ribs on the break while hanging horizontally over the ropes. They both stand up and Blanchard tries to circle on Steamboat left side which he's obviously trying to protect. Blanchard tries to bait Steamboat by hocking a loogie in his face. Two leapfrogs and a powerslam later and Steamboat getting near falls. Steamboat gets a return spit on Blachard. It's all Steamboat but he seems to be slowing down a bit and hurting himself on every move. Steamboat hits the slingshot suplex, Tully own finishing move!! Steamboat only gets 2 though, Blanchard's all busted open. Wait Blanchard's got a foreign object! He swings but misses, Steamboat tries to belly-to-back supple him into the ring. But Blanchard hits Steamboat with the weapon mid-move! The ref counts but both guys get up. Blanchard hits the running bodypress. Only 2! Steamboat's swinging wildly. Blanchard goes for the superplex but Steamboat knocks him off. Top rope splash! 1……..2………….ohh so close, 2.9! Steamboat with the sunset flip, but Blanchard uses the weapon again! 1,2,3. Tully retains the title and get's da money! See cheating works! ****1/4
10. UNITED STATES CHAMPIOSNHIP: Wahoo McDaniel Vs. "Superstar" Billy Graham - Graham is the former WWF World champ and is appartently a martial arts expert now. Graham comes out to "Everyone was Kung-Fu fightin'". Wahoo McDaniel comes out and I begin to seriously fear for Graham. Wahoo ain't no blackbelt but if you wanna go chop for chop with him you'd better make sure your health insurance is up-to-date. Graham shows he's the stronger early on. Wahoo with a Samoan spike to the eye and the chops begin! Graham gets in a full nelson and the announcers sell it as an unbeatable submission move. Wahoo makes the ropes. Criss cross and Wahoo with the bnig chop. He covers and.. gets the pin!?? Wow that was crazy short, even by Graham's standards. Maybe they had to cut it short for the main event? Meh not even a match. Fun to see both guys though. Especially Wahoo McDaniel cause he fucking rocks. ½*
In the back Tony interviews the three judges for the main event. If the match goes 60 minutes they will decide the winner. Joe Frazier is one of them as well as being the special guest ref and sounds really punch drunk talking. The other two are former wrestler Suke Meayuka (I know I misspelled that :-( ) and NASCAR's Kyle Petty.
11. ONE MILLION DOLLAR CHALLENGE: NWA WORLD CHAMPSIONSHIP: Ric Flair Vs. Dusty Rhodes - Special guest referee is boxing legend Smoking Joe Frazier.. HOLY SHIT Dusty Rhodes comes out to Prince's "Purple Rain", I completely forgot about that! Awesome. Flair comes out to his 2001: Space Odyssey theme music which inexplicitly morphs into some Hank Williams sounding song about some guy saying it's "hard to be humble". Weird. Winner of this match gets a million bucks as well as the title. Whoa, Dusty actually gets some boos, at least more than Flair.
Before you can blink Dusty gets bionic elbow #1 in, then puts on a headlock. Flair gets some chops but Dusty no-sells. Flip-flap-fly punches and back to the headlock for Rhodes. Flair comes back with more chops but missed a knee drop and Dusty quickly puts on the Figure-Four!!!! Flair gets to the ropes but is hurt Dusty works on the leg but then goes to the arm for some reason. Dusty gets a press slam! Dusty chops + bionic elbows = Flair flop.. Flair tries some more chops but Dusty no-sells and sends Flair into the corner for a Flair flip. Dusty tries to suplex Flair into the ring but Joe Frazier tries to stop him. Dusty won't be denied though and forceably supplexs him in for a 2 count. That was weird, maybe someone missed their spot? Flair does a reverse elboe dropping big Dust. Flair celebrates by doing the strut all the way to the top rope…only to be Flair-slammed off!! Man this is weird, it's like a Flair match in fast forward, he's doing all his spots one after the other, bam-bam-bam. Flair with the sleeper! Dusty shakes him off and Flair comes a flyin' outside. Flair pulls Dusty out and they brawl on the outside. Flair slams Dusty headfirst into the post! Frasier forces Flair to stay in the ring. Flair got his fists up. Flair Vs. Frazier at Starrcade 85? Camera pans back outside and Dusty's busted open, about 0.4 Muta. Dusty returns into the ring and Frasier cheacks the eye. Whwere's the corner cut man? Dusty shakes Frazier off and Flair starts to work on the cut with lots of punches. Frazier pushes Flair away and checks the cut again. He talks to the timekeeper. The bell rings???? Frazier goes to Flair… and raises his hand!!?!! Frazier stopped the fight due to injury to Rhodes ala MMA. Dusty's PISSED and goes after Frazier! Luckily 50 wrestlers have come into the ring and stop him. Flair retains the title and gets another million. Dusty goes home with a bloody face. WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! If they were going that route they should've milked the cut a bit more, like have Flair work on it longer instead of Frazier stopping the match about 30 seconds after. All well, OK match. But then I always liked the Flair/Rhodes matches more than others. Went about 15 minutes though and seemed VERY rushed. ***
Tony interviews da champ in the back. Flair shows the belt and the check to the camera. Space mountain is open all night ladies! Whooooooo! Dusty is PISSED-OFF and cuts another badass promo, screaming with a towel wrapped around his head. He talks shit about Joe Frazier telling him to "watch his back jack!" and says he ain't through with Flair.
Meh. I love NWA in the 80's but except for the Steamboat/Blanchard match there's really nothing must-see for this show. Let's say: 4/10